Sunday, November 28, 2010

in which I attempt to watch a Woody Allen movie, so as to educate myself

6:29.  I really wish I could like, or at least understand, Woody Allen.  I've been able to tolerate some of his more recent movies, i.e. Vicky Cristina Barcelona (which might have been good, even, if not for the vaguely vapid presence of Scarlett Johanssen in place of an actual actress) and Melinda and Melinda (which I actually almost liked).  You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger was, well, no more stupid and misogynistic than most of what comes out of Hollywood, so I suppose that's an improvement.

It's really vintage Woody Allen - the stuff that's supposedly so great - that I can't stand.  I am watching Manhattan right now, or trying to, but the problem is that by six and a half minutes into the movie I'm already bored (from the actionless overture at the very start of the movie) and pissed off (from, well, Woody Allen).  What would happen, so you suppose, if a woman with a massive ego and an unpleasant face made a series of movies about her sexual conquests?  Also, I realize this movie was made in the 70's but I'm pretty sure statutory rape was at least frowned upon back then.

8:11  Seriously??  I don't know which of the two male characters I hate more, the one who is sarcastic about his friend's affair despite his own many affairs, or the one who has the "great marriage" because he's only had one or two affairs.  Please tell me this is not how normal, non-movie men sound when there are no women around.

9:54.  Young Meryl Streep.  movie just got a lot better.  Wait... how could she have been married to this turd?

14:59.  Almost didn't recognize Diane Keaton / dark, curly hair. 

Suddenly feel like less of a grave-robber next to Woody.

16:40:  Realize where I got my rampant-feminist-trying-to-scare-off-men act:  Diane Keaton.  Love her.

18:42.  Woody Allen was alive during WWII???

21:22.  W says his first intelligent thing of the whole movie, that it is ridiculous for him to be sleeping with a child and he should stop.

25:51.  W just told Diane Keaton she probably doesn't get many dates b/c she has opinions.  Nice.  Good to know nothing has changed in the last 40 years.

32:22.  Of course, the female characters are not much better than the men.  So naive.  Women in New York aren't that nave these days, even on TV.

37:48.  There is an hour of this still to go.   HOW?

38:49.  Life is too short.  I give up.  Still hate Woody Allen.

1 comment:

  1. Good for you. So far as I know, I hate Woody Allen, but I haven't gone back to check in ages.